Ever present God

The long intermission in posts has again been due to a mix of busyness and laziness, I admit. So, to whatever small audience of readers I may or may not have, I apologize.


I'm tempted to write another one of those "caught up in life" posts about how we can all get so caught up in life that we forget what's really important. Well, it's true, I can't emphasize enough how distracted I get. But I'll take it a step farther this time. I've pretty much dismissed God in most ways. drowning out his voice in my life except for little nudges here and there that I get from other people and things that happen around me. I've tried to convince myself that I've grown in tremendous ways at Geneva this year. It's true, I've matured in so many ways physically, mentally, and emotionally through all the circumstances I've been through already, and I've realized a lot about myself, which I won't begin to elaborate on. But, truthfully, I'd be fooling myself if I said I have grown closer to God. My relationship has been at a standstill, for the most part, relationally; perhaps in knowledge I have grown through my studies and in Bible class, but not relationally. I guess the problem is, I expected that being in a spiritual environment around Christian people would in effect draw me closer to my Savior. I wanted, like I always had been before, to be hand fed without any work on my part. This mindset has brought me to where I am today.

The fact that Godly stuff is going on around me doesn't do anything for me spiritually. I have to allow God to work through me and be willing to give my life to Him. God will work with the environment around me in response to my submission. But I need to surrender before anything can happen.

Despite all this, I've noticed, now that I look back, that God has been ever-present despite my distance from Him. I've felt Him there, calling for me to draw closer, but in my own selfishness I pushed Him aside. How awesome it is though, to know that my God is never going to stop calling out to me, no matter how far I may stray. By His amazing grace, He is always with me. I'm so grateful for that.

Now that I've realized how far I've strayed away, in these last weeks before finals (and during finals), I hope to come back and make Jesus my priority and my focus, despite all the busyness, as He sticks by my side.