No... more... road... tests...
Woot
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Arggh
I always have these great plans and they always go to the toilet the day they should be coming together. I have yet to set up a hangout day with friends successfully and with full attendance. I guess I'll have to be more direct than email and the internet allows (aka I need to use the phone more often). Whatever. It also seems like people always are available when I'm not. And with the limited time I have, I like to see that when I have free time it's being put to the best use. And a majority of the time it's not. Like today for instance. I spent my entire afternoon with my sister and her friend (which I was obligated to do), because nobody else was available to hang out with us and make the day a more group oriented time. There are a million, billion, trillion things worse than what I'm complaining about so forgive my venting. I just wish my plans and the uses of my time would work out better than they do sometimes...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Bearing down
So I thought all the pressure and stress would be gone after AP tests. But now I've got other big stuff happening. Like my road test which is coming up this Tuesday. And, oh yeah, that 1/3 mile swim, 13 mile bike, 3 mile run I have to do next Saturday. These past few days I've been training hard, but I wish I could be consistent with something before it's almost upon me. Again I admit I'm not nearly ready for next week. But I hope to be able to beat my time from last year, which was below average at 1 hour 34 minutes (average being 1 1/2 hours). I'm just praying God keeps me strong this week and not too stressed as I work hard to get these things accomplished to the best of my ability.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Hmmm
Despite being pretty much done with the work in school (the exceptions being Calculus and a bit of Physics), I have a busy schedule this week. I guess it's because I'm working again. Yay for me... Well, I realize that I have problems getting things done when I am not busy. But when I am pressed for time I find time to be productive. I don't understand it. But that's the silver lining of keeping busy I guess.
-Dave
-Dave
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wow
So it is finally over. No more AP exams ever again. No more intense studying and loads of work. Now, as a fourth quarter senior, I've basically graduated already, but until the actual ceremony it will only be psychological.
The question is, what shall I do now? I used to be able to convince myself that the reason I didn't do anything productive was because of all these tests. Now that it's over, I have a lot more free time and a lot less excuses to fill my time with. It's funny, I can't do school work when I need to, instead I work on my own projects. When I have no school work and have free time I don't do projects, instead I spend most of my time lallygagging from one thing to another, not getting much of anything done. It's quite possibly the most frustrating paradox ever, next to Hillary Clinton running for president.
Two summers ago I spent my days like spending quarters in a broken arcade game, wasting them. The summer after (last summer) I vowed not to do the same, and was sort of productive. I intended to write an entire "choose your own adventure" story during that summer, instead only got a small way and didn't end up finishing it until just about two weeks ago (see here for the story).
So, as lame as it sounds I vow again to make this vacation and end of the year very productive, possibly the best I've had, in preparation for college. And this will be a productive summer, probably the most memorable of them all.
The question is, what shall I do now? I used to be able to convince myself that the reason I didn't do anything productive was because of all these tests. Now that it's over, I have a lot more free time and a lot less excuses to fill my time with. It's funny, I can't do school work when I need to, instead I work on my own projects. When I have no school work and have free time I don't do projects, instead I spend most of my time lallygagging from one thing to another, not getting much of anything done. It's quite possibly the most frustrating paradox ever, next to Hillary Clinton running for president.
Two summers ago I spent my days like spending quarters in a broken arcade game, wasting them. The summer after (last summer) I vowed not to do the same, and was sort of productive. I intended to write an entire "choose your own adventure" story during that summer, instead only got a small way and didn't end up finishing it until just about two weeks ago (see here for the story).
So, as lame as it sounds I vow again to make this vacation and end of the year very productive, possibly the best I've had, in preparation for college. And this will be a productive summer, probably the most memorable of them all.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Is God Good?
That has been the question among many, next to the question "Does God exist?". Many people, myself included, have come to the conclusion (through our own contemplation and experiences of divine evidence many times inexplicable to others) that God exists. Which leaves to be asked and questioned just what this God is like. This is the stumbling block for most, for in a world of such turmoil, how can an all powerful God truly be good?
Honestly, one of the biggest turnoffs to "religion" is the fact that people refuse to believe in a God that allows all the destruction and chaos in our world. It just doesn't make sense. "If I were God and had the power, I would take away everything bad right now and make the world perfect for everybody" many would say. Seems so simple, and most leave it at that. But some others refuse to believe that God can't exist, they just view Him in a more negative light.
For some, God is a dictator. He's a big meany with lightning bolts ready and willing to strike down and punish anyone he pleases, most often those who disobey, but sometimes just because he feels like it without explanation. Some people think if they try harder to "be a good person" then this vengeful God may take out His wrath on someone else and spare them. It reminds me of the gods and goddesses in Greek mythology. Very unforgiving, sometimes corrupt and unfair gods who had the power and didn't care too much about the specs on the marble sized planet Earth. That's a pretty depressing viewpoint and I think I'd rather believe in no gods at all.
So for others (most Christians at least), God is good. But how can that be? We see the evil all around us, and this said all-powerful God isn't doing anything to stop it. He let Hitler come to power. He allowed countless wars. He allowed plagues and massive diseases. He's allowing hundreds of children to be orphaned as infants everyday, and others to be enslaved. He's letting drunk drivers kill innocent people everyday and night, allowing rape and murder. He's allowing diseases and wars and conflict and all this stuff that we try to turn a blind eye to and forget because of how terrible it is. And yet some still believe we have a good God. How can that be?
First we have to understand where all this stuff is coming from. This corruption, it's not from God, and God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is the epitome of perfection, and He can't sin and can't be around sin. He hates sin so much. It disgusts Him. We are the cause of our misery. From the very beginning, we were created perfect. But we broke the one law God put in front of us, and from that day we've been breaking laws time and again. Each one we break has consequences, and though some are subtle, they are what is bringing the human race down the tubes. We had a choice then and we broke it. We have a choice ahead of us right now but we already know we will break it. We are the cause of our own misery.
So we are the cause. But God has the power right? He created the whole universe in six days, He must have the power to stop all this sin, right? Right. He has the power, and He uses it time and again when we ask for His help. But picture this. Imagine your pet, say your dog if you have one (and like it mind you) sitting here in front of you. He/she pees right on your floor (hopefully for all of us so far this is a bad thing). You don't like this, but you know because the dog isn't perfect, it's going to happen even if the dog is obedient to you and trained well. Now put a robot in place of your dog (or pet generically) and tell me how you feel. If you loved your pet, I don't think a robotic replacement would do just the same, because robots just do what you tell them to. They don't have feelings or show real love, they just run programs. They may never make any mistakes whatsoever, but they will never be the same as a real dog (cat, pet, whatever floats your boat). The same is true with God and us. He created us for the sole purpose of loving us and being loved back (the same reason you got a pet). He sure has the power to make everything perfect, just like you have the power to throw your dog out the door and buy a Furby or Gigapet (old school I know). But that wouldn't be real love would it? If you were programmed by God to love Him and do everything perfectly, you'd be no more than a robot to Him. We wouldn't be choosing to love Him, we'd be forced to. And we all know that in love of all kinds, love takes and requires choice. So God has the power with us just as we do with pets, but He out of the love He has for us and wants from us, chooses not to makeus perfect robots.
In addition to this, God is all powerful as I've said before. He makes the rules. Should He really be a God that is vengeful, full of wrath, and trigger happy with His stash of lightning bolts at His side, who are we to argue fairness? He has the power, and He created us to think the way we do. Who's to say God's actions aren't just merely because He is God, and there is no judge on Him.
However, we don't have to think this way. God is good. He is the epitome of good, the essence of good, and is in His entirety, completely good. As humans we are selfish; we are by nature inclined to define good as what makes us happy. In all its simplicity, good is what is beneficial for us. And because of this, God should be the sole and best example of goodness. Because you have to understand that we can't understand the depth of God's love. You see, we do things, especially love, because of our own needs. We need this so we do it. We want this so we get it. God had everything He needed in His perfection and power. Everything. There wasn't a single part of Him aching for more. And yet He made us because the perfect God of the universe wanted to love us. That's good.
God is good, all the time. It's easy to see that God is good on the bright sunny days after AP exams when we're hanging with friends, when the pressure is off, when everything is going great. But what about when things don't go our way? How about when things go really terribly? We in our selfish and short-sighted minds and hearts can't always see God's goodness in the bad times. We have to realize that God is good though, because despite How we are at that moment, God never changes. If someone in my family were to die tonight, God was good, is good, and will be good. I'll stand on that principle, not held by some paper-thin faith when things are going great, but in the solid knowledge of God's shining goodness in my life even during my darkest hour. Amen.
Honestly, one of the biggest turnoffs to "religion" is the fact that people refuse to believe in a God that allows all the destruction and chaos in our world. It just doesn't make sense. "If I were God and had the power, I would take away everything bad right now and make the world perfect for everybody" many would say. Seems so simple, and most leave it at that. But some others refuse to believe that God can't exist, they just view Him in a more negative light.
For some, God is a dictator. He's a big meany with lightning bolts ready and willing to strike down and punish anyone he pleases, most often those who disobey, but sometimes just because he feels like it without explanation. Some people think if they try harder to "be a good person" then this vengeful God may take out His wrath on someone else and spare them. It reminds me of the gods and goddesses in Greek mythology. Very unforgiving, sometimes corrupt and unfair gods who had the power and didn't care too much about the specs on the marble sized planet Earth. That's a pretty depressing viewpoint and I think I'd rather believe in no gods at all.
So for others (most Christians at least), God is good. But how can that be? We see the evil all around us, and this said all-powerful God isn't doing anything to stop it. He let Hitler come to power. He allowed countless wars. He allowed plagues and massive diseases. He's allowing hundreds of children to be orphaned as infants everyday, and others to be enslaved. He's letting drunk drivers kill innocent people everyday and night, allowing rape and murder. He's allowing diseases and wars and conflict and all this stuff that we try to turn a blind eye to and forget because of how terrible it is. And yet some still believe we have a good God. How can that be?
First we have to understand where all this stuff is coming from. This corruption, it's not from God, and God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is the epitome of perfection, and He can't sin and can't be around sin. He hates sin so much. It disgusts Him. We are the cause of our misery. From the very beginning, we were created perfect. But we broke the one law God put in front of us, and from that day we've been breaking laws time and again. Each one we break has consequences, and though some are subtle, they are what is bringing the human race down the tubes. We had a choice then and we broke it. We have a choice ahead of us right now but we already know we will break it. We are the cause of our own misery.
So we are the cause. But God has the power right? He created the whole universe in six days, He must have the power to stop all this sin, right? Right. He has the power, and He uses it time and again when we ask for His help. But picture this. Imagine your pet, say your dog if you have one (and like it mind you) sitting here in front of you. He/she pees right on your floor (hopefully for all of us so far this is a bad thing). You don't like this, but you know because the dog isn't perfect, it's going to happen even if the dog is obedient to you and trained well. Now put a robot in place of your dog (or pet generically) and tell me how you feel. If you loved your pet, I don't think a robotic replacement would do just the same, because robots just do what you tell them to. They don't have feelings or show real love, they just run programs. They may never make any mistakes whatsoever, but they will never be the same as a real dog (cat, pet, whatever floats your boat). The same is true with God and us. He created us for the sole purpose of loving us and being loved back (the same reason you got a pet). He sure has the power to make everything perfect, just like you have the power to throw your dog out the door and buy a Furby or Gigapet (old school I know). But that wouldn't be real love would it? If you were programmed by God to love Him and do everything perfectly, you'd be no more than a robot to Him. We wouldn't be choosing to love Him, we'd be forced to. And we all know that in love of all kinds, love takes and requires choice. So God has the power with us just as we do with pets, but He out of the love He has for us and wants from us, chooses not to makeus perfect robots.
In addition to this, God is all powerful as I've said before. He makes the rules. Should He really be a God that is vengeful, full of wrath, and trigger happy with His stash of lightning bolts at His side, who are we to argue fairness? He has the power, and He created us to think the way we do. Who's to say God's actions aren't just merely because He is God, and there is no judge on Him.
However, we don't have to think this way. God is good. He is the epitome of good, the essence of good, and is in His entirety, completely good. As humans we are selfish; we are by nature inclined to define good as what makes us happy. In all its simplicity, good is what is beneficial for us. And because of this, God should be the sole and best example of goodness. Because you have to understand that we can't understand the depth of God's love. You see, we do things, especially love, because of our own needs. We need this so we do it. We want this so we get it. God had everything He needed in His perfection and power. Everything. There wasn't a single part of Him aching for more. And yet He made us because the perfect God of the universe wanted to love us. That's good.
God is good, all the time. It's easy to see that God is good on the bright sunny days after AP exams when we're hanging with friends, when the pressure is off, when everything is going great. But what about when things don't go our way? How about when things go really terribly? We in our selfish and short-sighted minds and hearts can't always see God's goodness in the bad times. We have to realize that God is good though, because despite How we are at that moment, God never changes. If someone in my family were to die tonight, God was good, is good, and will be good. I'll stand on that principle, not held by some paper-thin faith when things are going great, but in the solid knowledge of God's shining goodness in my life even during my darkest hour. Amen.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
The Good God
I've found the topic of God's goodness in such an evil world to be very interesting and thought provoking. I would love to spend an hour diving into it, but with an AP exam tomorrow I don't know if that's the best course of action, and just summing my thoughts up won't do it justice. So I will save it for a later date, hopefully very soon. However, I must say that the fact that I've not only gotten by but actually done well thus far in my two weeks of hell is evidence enough that God is good. Enough said.
Friday, May 4, 2007
NYSSMA
So yeah, I'm back and my solo is done. It went well, considering its difficulty, the fact that I was teaching myself (didn't have a private instructor), and the fact that I'm a senior and this doesn't really count for anything. It was great to be able to tackle a piece like Concerto in B flat, something I never thought I'd be able to play, and actually make it sound somewhat pleasing to the ear. It was a great challenge and good moral booster for these upcoming weeks. So yeah, now I've been up to the plate twice, both times getting a hit. I'm hoping for another single on these exams, or a double if I'm lucky (I couldn't even imagine a home run).
Brobdingnagian... the wonders of dictionary.com :)
Brobdingnagian... the wonders of dictionary.com :)
Weeks of anguish
Here is what my three weeks look like:
-Prodigious assignments due
-NYSSMA Solo
-AP Government Exam
-AP Literature Exam
-AP Macroeconomics Exam
The Brobdingnagian (yes, that's a word) assignments are over, so the first part I have survived. The second part is well underway, and I will be going through that tonight. The third part is well on its way coming (Monday) and the others are to follow. I'll keep you informed should I be alive (and online) anytime following tonight. Adios...
-Prodigious assignments due
-NYSSMA Solo
-AP Government Exam
-AP Literature Exam
-AP Macroeconomics Exam
The Brobdingnagian (yes, that's a word) assignments are over, so the first part I have survived. The second part is well underway, and I will be going through that tonight. The third part is well on its way coming (Monday) and the others are to follow. I'll keep you informed should I be alive (and online) anytime following tonight. Adios...
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