I realize it's a constant battle to keep myself focused and productive, and I realize I've been failing in this battle for the past few weeks. It's been the most evident this weekend on Fall Break, where, with all the time in the world at home during this Monday, I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything. And it's been that way for quite awhile.
Funny thing is how the battle keeps going even when I don't realize there's a war at all. Actually, I figure the times I'm losing are when I can't even see the enemy, or see a reason to fight. I become numb to the routine of just "getting by" in school (i.e. doing things at the last minute and not devoting enough time to work) and focusing so much on fun (i.e. games and more games of all sorts). It seems like so much fun, but this fun is clouding my vision as it's slowly bringing about my demise. It's destroying my potential as a student and my relationships with God and my family and friends. It may be bringing short term pleasure, but I constantly need more to keep me going and my day becomes based on how much fun I had. Basically, I'm losing the joys of life that God intended to be the focus.
I don't know how to elaborate on this anymore, and I've probably talked about this problem numerous times in past blogs. But, as I emphasize, it's a constant battle, one that I will never win until it's over and hopefully will never have to admit defeat.
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2 comments:
Wow. This is basically the blog i was going to write.
We're all going through battles right now, and while mine is not necessarily the same one, it is familiarly constant and relentless. So i share these verses i found for myself as well as for you and Adam:
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"...but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." - Romans 5:3-5
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